Thoughts from the bathroom floor

My body has been violently trying to expel something I ate that it doesn’t like for the last 12+ hours.  Yay!  I haven’t seen much but my bed and the toilet bowl since I got home from work yesterday.  I went out to the kitchen once at about 2:00am to feed the dog b/c I was feeling a tiny bit better but that’s it.

Back in September or so I wrote a post about how waking up in the middle of the night in extreme pain in an empty house is a pretty good way to feel alone.  No family in town to call, no GF or wife in bed next to you…  Dealing with food poisoning is a pretty good way to feel the same way.  No one to get you Pedialyte or Gatorade or rub your back while you’re puking.  Of course, there’s no one to hear the gross sounds coming through the bathroom door either so it kind of washes out.  There’s friends I could call, but it’s a pretty big imposition at 2 in the morning.

So.  While I was sitting on the bathroom floor, hugging the toilet…

  • I need new bath mats.  Mine are getting a little threadbare and they’re not soft to sit on for too long.
  • I don’t know why, but my whole freaking body aches.  Once I can keep something down, I’m hitting the ibuprofen hard.  For some reason I want to sleep on my right side and my shoulder, hip and ribcage on that side feel like I’ve been sleeping on a steel mattress or something.  Huh.  Might be some Habitat for Humanity pain mixed in with the other unpleasantness actually.
  • I’m so freaking dehydrated.  The room is spinning, I feel weak as a kitten, I’m a tiny bit worried about falling over while rushing to the bathroom…  If this was back in the barracks I’d be able to get someone to stick me and hang a couple bags of Ringer’s Lactate.  I’m throwing up much less frequently so I’m able to start sipping some water.  Oh.  And we’re having an awesome snowstorm that’s going to make heading out for Gatorade later fun.
  • I feel so yucko and dirty.  3 showers throughout the night haven’t helped.  I can’t wait for this to pass to scrub down again and finally feel clean.
  • So.  Damned.  Cold.  Throw up violently for 2 minutes, end up burning hot and covered in sweat from the effort.  Then two minutes later cool off and have the sweat evaporate and end up shivering on the floor waiting for the next wave to come.  Soaking in hot showers and falling asleep bundled up under the electric blanket hasn’t done much to help.  I hate to say it, but she was right.  I need some body-to-body heat exchange ala “The Saint”.
  • Oh shit.  Here comes the next wave.

 

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