Saturday

I’d gone out with a woman three or four times over the first two weeks that I knew her.  She’s really, really awesome and really, really annoying at the same time.  Annoying because she’s another one who isn’t ready to start dating, but has put themselves out there as someone who is.  I know that that’s probably important for her self esteem, etc., but it’s hurtful to the people they go out with who ARE ready to date and who are looking for someone.  It kind of sucks to know that there’s an expiration date on something before it really even gets started.  We’ll go out a couple more times, then we’ll have the talk where we say how much the timing sucks, because it seems like we could be a good fit and then we will go our separate ways.

Anyways, I was working from home on Friday and we were texting back and forth and it came out that she was at a Dave Ramsey financial seminar downtown, this one focused towards business leaders and was planning on attending a seminar the next day focused on individuals and families the next day.  She invited me along, and even though there’s no future there, I went.  I knew it was going to be a long day, and I had a picture of it being something tacky, a guy in a bad suit in a Ramada Inn conference room out by the airport, but I still wanted to go.  Why?  Because finances have been such an issue in previous relationships.  My marriage, PG and others.  Not being aligned about the future and retirement and savings caused so much stress, either on me personally, because I felt like the only person worried about it or on the relationship because we weren’t in agreement.  I just wanted to know what that felt like to be partnered with someone and making positive steps together, even if it wasn’t going anywhere.  And it was great.  We had some really good talks about what we each wanted, what was important, how to have talks in a way that didn’t put the other on the defensive.  It was exciting to have that taste, no matter how briefly, of how it can be.  I’ll know what to look for in the future, what to ask for, what to work for.  That doesn’t mean the other person has to be there right out of the gate, but they have to be willing to get there together.

The seminar was a kick to the crotch for me.  I’ve gotten discouraged by some financial setbacks the last couple of years and haven’t been as diligent about paying off debt and getting savings growing.  I’m doing both, but not with the passion I was before.  After working so hard to restore my credit in the marriage and then again after the divorce I just needed a break and gave myself one.  Got a little frivolous.  I didn’t put myself back into a bad place, I just slowed my growth a lot.  This was good to get me fired up about the future again.  And it wasn’t just a financial seminar.  There were life and parenting and relationship coaches who spoke.  They each had to give very abbreviated versions of their normal talks so there wasn’t really an opportunity to learn a lot, but there was enough to get me hungry for more growth, to get serious about goal setting again.  Much like finances, last year was so hard on me emotionally, that I’d just given myself a little break.  I’m still doing good things, still learning, still growing, still changing, but the passion waned a little bit.  So it’s nice to be re-invigorated on all fronts.

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