updates

So I’ve been on A.D.D. meds for about three weeks now.  After the first weekend I was pretty sure I was on the right path and wanted more.  That first Friday that I forgot to take the pills and noticed it I was convinced.  Unfortunately when I called the doctor’s office last week to talk about increasing the dosage I was told she was out for 2 weeks of vacation.  With the short Thanksgiving week the earliest I can get in to see her is two weeks from today.  That’s frustrating because while I’m definitely noticing a difference in my behavior and my ability to concentrate/focus I feel like it’s just the tip and that there’s the opportunity for much more improvement.  I don’t want to be drugged out of my mind and have the ability to sit at my desk and do boring statistical work for 8 hours straight, I just want a little more.

A little more what you ask?  Well in the last few weeks I’ve sat down and read homework assignments and actually done papers for school without bargaining or guilting myself into it.  I’ve just known homework has had to be done and sat down and done it.  I’ve been more focused on employees, friends and peers when talking them.  Less checking out things online, texting on the phone and emailing, more active, honest listening.  I’ve been retaining the information from these conversations better and am actually following up better on my deliverables as a result.  Multiple times I’ve sat down for hours and knocked out documentation or forms that have been piling up and I’ve been able to do a better job framing requests for resources than in the past because I’ve been able to collect my thoughts better and research my arguments better as well as compile the supporting documentation.  While I’m doing all these things I’m still getting distracted, and I’m still more tempted to do the screwing around than I’d like to be.  I do feel better work habits starting to form, which is helping, but I feel like there’s still a gap that is too big for me to cross on my own.  Also the medication wears off a little earlier than I’d like it to for a time-released medication.  I’m sure if it was just a 9-5 that’d be great, but a) my job isn’t and b) I’m burning the candle at both ends and doing schoolwork late into the night.

I don’t think I need a significant dosage increase.  I’m just curious how much more good I can get, where the upper limit of positive effects is and when the law of diminishing returns kicks in, or the negative side effects.

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