Earwig

Posted in Uncategorized on December 13, 2014 by me

This song has been stuck in my head all day, which isn’t so bad.  The problem was there wasn’t someone there with me doing errands and Christmas shopping to act like a loon and sing it at the top of their lungs with me.

There is probably some truth to this…

Posted in Uncategorized on December 6, 2014 by me

But I don’t know that for sure.  I can only speak to the male side of it.  But based on how some females in the past have expressed some frustration in my communications skills, I’d say the misunderstandings between me and them might indicate that the female side of the story might be true too.

Here’s the article.  First there’s the “what are you thinking?” kind of questions, when you’re not thinking anything at all.  Then there’s the “Why don’t you talk to me?” ones.  Without that understanding that when you talk to someone else, you talk about something specifically in one box, you aren’t jumping from box to box to box.  Or…  the tangle of stuff.

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Posted in Uncategorized on December 3, 2014 by me

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Like the Boy Says…

Posted in Uncategorized on November 26, 2014 by me

…  this one hits you right in the feels:

I’m Such a Nerd

Posted in Uncategorized on November 24, 2014 by me

BK got invited to a BBQ Saturday night.  As part of the deal she had to make a dessert.  We were hanging out together during the day, going longboarding and such, and she’d invited me to the BBQ.  We decided it’d be easier to make a dessert at my place and then leave from there so after we were done skating we went to my house and started baking, and promptly found out that I was short on butter so I rushed over to the grocery store.

I get the butter, I get in line.  The guy in front of me has a bill for $20.79.  He runs his debit card.  Declined.  The cashier takes a couple things out to get it to $15 bucks and he runs it again.  No joy.  So the guy walks across the open space between the cash register and the bank and goes to run the same ATM card to see if he can get any money out of the machine.

The line behind me had grown, it was fairly busy at that time.  The cashier tried to call a manager to suspend the transaction.  I told the cashier to just add my butter to the guy’s bill and paid for it all.

Here’s the thing.  If it would’ve been some frazzled mom or some little old lady I wouldn’t have minded.  Might’ve even liked the possibility of coming across as a hero.  But it wasn’t a woman.  It was a guy just a couple years older than me.  So I tried to get the heck out of there before he came back from the ATM so I didn’t have to face him.  I didn’t know how to take his gratitude if he was thankful, and I didn’t want to face his anger if he was upset or embarrassed.  So I skeddaddled just as fast as my little legs would carry me.

Parenthood

Posted in Uncategorized on November 23, 2014 by me

For a variety of reasons I hate this show.  Mostly because I am somehow addicted to it.

This week’s episode was particularly frustrating.  They had a nice mixed message.  A teen-aged boy who was punished for chasing a girl and an older man who rewarded for it.  Then it ended on a cliff-hanger on whether or not the patriarch was going to survive.

But mostly I hated it because of the older guy.  “Fight for your love”.  That normal Hollywood thing.  No matter how bad you screw up, just chase her long enough, harass her enough, say the right thing, perform the right big act, give her the right puppy dog eyes and she’ll take you back.  If only it worked that way.

Introverts

Posted in Uncategorized on November 14, 2014 by me

It’s funny.  It seems like 2014 was the year of the introvert.  I saw tons of articles and cartoons and Facebook memes and blah-blah-blah explaining introverts.  And it got annoying.  Like it was a badge of honor on Facebook to post one and say “see, see?”

A lot of the articles seemed really superficial to me.  Kind of like having a really generic fortune and just forcing yourself to interpret your situation just right to say “wow, that fortune came true!”  Or a horoscope.  “Man, that thing was right on the money!’

This one though, seemed to have a little more depth and to ring a little truer to me.  There are a couple “Duh!” moments in it, but the ones that I can relate to?

1)  Small talk stresses them out, while deeper conversations make them feel alive.

Not only does small talk stress me out, sometimes it annoys me.  The idea of making idle chit-chat at networking events is torture to me, although I’ve practiced it and I’ve gotten a lot better at it.  But sometimes, making small talk with people I know is annoying.  It’s a distraction to me.  One thing that’s just dawning on me here.  At some jobs I have to be “on” a lot.  As a manager, I have to talk to a million people in the course of my day.  If the introvert/extrovert/energy thing is true, when I come home I just want to sit on the couch for a couple hours and be alone in my head with the TV on and just recharge.  I had a relationship where my favorite thing to do was just sit on the couch with her and watch t.v.  But she’d get frustrated that I wasn’t talking to her.  It wasn’t that I didn’t want to talk, it’s that right then, I couldn’t do the small talk thing.  I was just completely burned out.  I’m going to have to remember that moving forward.

I don’t like to speak for a group, just myself, but I think this is probably a fairly universal truth for introverts.  I might not’ve been the best at talking, I might have hated small talk.  But the fact that I wanted her there on the couch beside me?  Instead of being alone?  Says a lot.

2)  They succeed on stage — just not in the chit-chat afterwards.

This one is interesting to me.  When I’m in practice as a public speaker (it requires practice for me), and when I’m on, I’m freaking awesome talking in front of a crowd.  I can have people laughing and chuckling, engaged, asking topic related questions and it’s a euphoric high.  But when it’s over?  I want to run and hide from the one-on-one follow up questions.

3)  They are naturally drawn to more creative, detail-oriented and solitary careers.

Radio operator?  IT Guy?  These aren’t really social jobs.

4)  When surrounded by people, they locate themselves close to an exit.

Sweet Baby Jesus this is me.  Church?  Sitting next to strangers?  Has made me get up and walk out.  I hate it when ushers tell you you have to move in to make room for people.  Screw that.  I got there early and picked my aisle seat.  They can move around me.  The Army used to make you “move up and fill in the empty spaces”.  Special kind of hell for me. Movies, sporting events and flights?  Yeah, I specifically buy the aisle seats.

5)  They think before they speak.

I think this ties in to the small-talk thing.  I can’t just tell you how I feel at a moment’s noti7ce.  It’s not that I’m stupid about my feelings (well, sometimes I am), it’s that I have to figure out what I’m feeling, and then I have to figure out what to say and how to say it.

6)  They physically can’t stand talking on the phone.

AAAAAND so is this one.  It wasn’t that I didn’t want to talk to her, it’s that talking on the phone is a special kind of hell.  Sure she heard me talk on the phone to people.  But not people I saw everyday.  It was my Dad, my sister, a far away friend or two.  And generally it wasn’t chit-chat, it was bigger stuff we were talking about.

7)  They literally shut down when it’s time to be alone.

This was the realization from earlier this year.  The crankiness I get after too much time with a smile on my face making small talk with people I don’t know well.  The torture of wanting to leave and waiting for someone who is comfortable there and doesn’t realize how miserable I am.

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